Of course, I thought I was badass at sixteen, too. Wait, I was badass at sixteen. Oh, yeah.

News flash, lady. There are no queens anymore,” Shane said. He loaded shells in a shotgun and snapped it shut, then searched for a place to strap it on that didn’t interfere with the flamethrower. “No queens, no kings, no emperors. Not in America. Only CEOs. Same thing, but not so many crowns.

You can't go around... licking things that come out of a water treatment plant. That's just... unsanitary.

He had on a funny T-shirt, as usual. Today's featured acartoon figure running from a giant T. rex, and it read EXERCISE: SOME MOTIVATIONREQUIRED.

I’m avampire. I havesecret powers ,” he said with a full-on fake Transylvanian accent, which he dropped to say, “Actually, your mom let me in.

Perv." He pointed to himself. "Male and eighteen. What's your point?

So we do nothing? --Claire We do the best nothing you've ever seen. --Michael