We'll have a kid or maybe we'll rent one. He's got to be straight, we don't want a bent one.

The best of my songs are more than just a joke. There's something else going on - a character, or it's not just a plain joke.

People become who they are. Even Beethoven became Beethoven.

I've worked with a band, and it's nice to have someone to travel around with, but I didn't like it as well on stage.

I once had dinner with Madonna and I wasn't nervous but within about a minute I found myself talking about underwear.

You keep wondering whether people will see that Barack Obama is a liar and not very bright.

I'd like to explain why you fine young men had to be blown apart to defend this mud hole.