You know, they say you can reduce genius to someone who spent 10,000 hours trying to get good at something. I'm not claiming either one of those. I haven't done anything for 10,000 hours but sleep. But you do stuff enough, you get better at it. Usually it's a simple thing like that. Essentially, a brainless endeavor.

I once had dinner with Madonna and I wasn't nervous but within about a minute I found myself talking about underwear.

I'm dreaming of a white president. Just like the ones we've always had. A real live white man. Who knows the score, how to handle money or start a war. Wouldn't even have to tell me what we were fighting for. He'd be the right man, if he were a white man.

The best of my songs are more than just a joke. There's something else going on - a character, or it's not just a plain joke.

The radio is blastin', someone's knockin' at the door. I'm lookin' at my girlfriend, she's passed out on the floor.

It's very hard to get rich and famous at a young age and handle it well.

I think in most cases, unless you're writing about a character who is garrulous, you say what you've got to say and then get out. Those little conjunctions, those little turnaround words help you do it. That's the way I like to write: I get rid of things rather than add them.