I'm dreaming of a white president. Just like the ones we've always had. A real live white man. Who knows the score, how to handle money or start a war. Wouldn't even have to tell me what we were fighting for. He'd be the right man, if he were a white man.

The easiest thing I do is assignment songs. They tell me what they need me to write. I can do that fairly quickly. Writing for an orchestra is difficult. Writing songs [on your own] is most difficult of all. Though [writing for] the orchestra is close.

If I were to die tomorrow, I think they'd say Newman 56, composer of the hit song, Short People. Jumped off a mountain today.

To get nominated by the Republican Party you've got to be pretty reactionary, really.

Asia's crowded and Europe's too old, Africa is far too hot and Canada's too cold. And South America stole our name, let's drop the big one.

They don't respect us, so let's surprise them, we'll drop the big one, pulverize them.

You know, they say you can reduce genius to someone who spent 10,000 hours trying to get good at something. I'm not claiming either one of those. I haven't done anything for 10,000 hours but sleep. But you do stuff enough, you get better at it. Usually it's a simple thing like that. Essentially, a brainless endeavor.