I used to steal pens at the store. Back in the day when you would write checks, I would write a check and use the pen, and I would keep the pen.

Every time the tour guide told a story, he would build it up to the point where he'd say, "And there was Bloody Joe, and his young ghost son walked into the room." He would build it up, and then it was just "the ghost walked into the room." And he would say, "Let's move on," and that would be it. It's like, wait, what happened to the bloody ghost? That's it? We knew he was making some of it up.

Sometimes I'd go [in British accent] "Uhh, brilliant! Absolutely brilliant, thank you. Wonderful. Cheers!" I do say "cheers" automatically," from living over there. I say "cheers" to everything.

We saw The Man From La Mancha, and I remember there was a scene where the woman's skirt fell off, and I got embarrassed and excited at the same time.

I did pass the bar in Pennsylvania. I can practice Amish law. But it's long expired, my bar license.

I missed the day in school where you subtract all the zeros. Let's say you subtract 10,000 minus 89. I never got the fact that you go next door and borrow a cup of coffee, and the zero changes to nine. For the longest time, I didn't know how to do it. I still to this day have been affected, and it was just one day they taught it. I was too afraid to say, "Why? What's going on with the zeroes?" So for the longest time, I thought that was a conspiracy.

I went right to Chicago to do improv [after law school], but I wish I had gone, "Let me just bypass this law thing." I mean, sure, it helps you read a contract, but I can read a contract regardless. It's just common sense, contracts.