I could survive in a Turkish prison, probably.

I did pass the bar in Pennsylvania. I can practice Amish law. But it's long expired, my bar license.

I love to hate [Wall Street] it, and I like it. I love the fact that I hate it and like it at the same time. Plus, Gordon Gekko is now [Donald] Trump, isn't he?

Every joke is either taken by ads or The Simpsons. It's all about being able to get your ideas out into the universe.

The first day I went to law school, I realized I'd made a huge mistake. It was nothing like what I thought.

Some people think it's psuedo-science, but it's called morphic resonance. It's when someone thinks of an idea, it makes it easier for someone else to think of the idea. That's why you should do crossword puzzles later in the day, because other people have thought about the answers. That's why you hear about people coming up with inventions almost at the same time, because someone else is thinking about it. That's why whenever I have a really good idea, I'm always worried about theft.

It's sort of like a reminder [click my teeth together] to remember it, but I don't think it works. I have terrible memory and really bad teeth as a result.