If you're going to make rubbish, be the best rubbish in it.

One of the gladdest moments of human life, methinks, is the departure upon a distant journey into unknown lands. Shaking off with one mighty effort the fetters of habit, the leaden weight of routine, the cloak of many cares and the slavery of home, man feels once more happy.

I have to think hard to name an interesting man who does not drink.

A man that hoards up riches and enjoys them not, is like an ass that carries gold and eats thistles.

False friendship, like the ivy, decays and ruins the walls it embraces; but true friendship gives new life and animation to the object it supports.

When I played drunks I had to remain sober because I didn't know how to play them when I was drunk.

This diamond has so many carats it's almost a turnip.