When you're born in a burning house, you think the whole world is on fire. But it's not.

Love a man who'll bleed to make a point. (Candy)

...playing with the Barbie-size keyboard on my new phone. Phones are like toys now. They fit in your pocket, light up and vibrate like joy buzzers. Plus, you can get-I mean, "access"-the Internet and find anything you want. Music. Maps. Porn. Anything. If cell phones came with a cigarette dispenser, they'd be the greatest stupid invention ever.

Enemies will kill you with a knife in the back. Friends will kill you with kindness. Either way you're dead.

Try not to sing too many sad songs for yourself. The universe already hates you. Self-pity isn't going to help.

Did I hurt your feelings again? Sorry. When this is all over I'll send some flowers to your inner child.

That's what Glocks are. High-precision killing machines that scream "Daddy Issues.