If Jesus was a bartender, He would still only be half as cool as Carlos.

I'm steel-toed boots in a ballet-slipper world.

In this life, no matter what anyone promises you, what allegiances of love or fealty they swear or what gods they pray to, you will never have more than what you have at this moment.

If Donald Trump and the Wicked Witch of the West had a kid, it would be Jayne-Anne. She looks like a librarian with some money and good taste in clothes but underneath the Verace, she's Godzilla with tits.

Did I hurt your feelings again? Sorry. When this is all over I'll send some flowers to your inner child.

Try not to sing too many sad songs for yourself. The universe already hates you. Self-pity isn't going to help.

The ashes of your existence will fertilize the soil for the universe to follow.