If you think there are no new frontiers, watch a boy ring the front doorbell on his first date.

A man who won't lie to a woman has very little consideration for her feelings.

What a pity human beings can't exchange problems. Everyone knows exactly how to solve the other fellow's.

Writing is the hardest way of earning a living, with the possible exception of wrestling alligators.

Inheritance taxes are so high that the happiest mourner at a rich man's funeral is usually Uncle Sam.

Bulls and bears aren't responsible for as many stock losses as bumsteers.

To be absolutely certain about something, one must know everything or nothing about it.