A lie is profanity. A lie is the worst thing in the world. Art is the ability to tell the truth.

Why get killed when you can run ... your ego will heal much faster than a broken jaw.

I think about dying. I've come to realize we all die alone in one way or another.

Unfortunately, the show's success comes at the expense of its biggest asset -- the comedians themselves.

I was kicked out of school because of my attitude. I was not assimilating. So I went to work, taking any jobs I could get.

Someone called all the newspapers in New York and told them I'd died. I've been told by almost everyone it was an ex-wife - I've had a few so it's hard to pinpoint which one - but who knows for sure?

I see people as the nucleus of a great idea that hasn't come to be yet.