Don't ever humiliate a man. If you're gonna have to dress him out, you take him aside and do it that way. That's the one thing I don't like about Hollywood: They go in for public humiliation. You shouldn't do that to a man.

If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.

If you're lucky enough to have a pretty girl love you and share herself and sleep with you, make that your secret. The best way to spoil love is by talking to too many people about it.

I honor religion except when it gets into shedding blood.

When I grew up, people said, 'You'll never be the man your dad was.' And I said, 'Gee, I hope not.'

Is it necessary for me to drink my own urine? No, but I do it anyway because it’s sterile and I like the taste.

Be your own politics, grow your own garden, and maybe you can help out more.