Why marry a woman if you're going to betray her, and if you're going to betray her, why beat her? The fault is not hers ... I sometimes think the worst we do, we do behind closed doors.

While cats can be infuriating, little old women in fur coats, they make me laugh. Of course, dogs, horses and my highly social chickens are dear to me, too.

Not until my middle thirties did I consider myself a novelist.

Pornography exists for the lonesome, the ugly, the fearful - it's made for the losers.

I am a comic writer, which means I get to slay the dragons, and shoot the bull.

...funny how people want a return to the good ole days. Of coarse the good ole days of being a rich white plantation owner. Everyone seems to forget the poor white farmer.

You sell a screenplay like you sell a car. If someone drives it off a cliff, that's it.