Hollywood called just as I crested thirty. My novels did not and still do not interest them, but my writing ability did.

Anyone of my generation who trusts government probably has an I.Q. that would make a good golf score.

Sport strips away personality, letting the white bone of character shine through. Sport gives players an opportunity to know and test themselves.

No animal on the face of the earth could conceive of taxation. You and I work roughly six months a year to pay our local, state and federal taxes. If nothing else, this should convince you that animals are smarter than people.

I've met many irresponsible people in my life but never an irresponsible cat.

I am a comic writer, which means I get to slay the dragons, and shoot the bull.

The writer's job is not to write a novel, hold it up and say, “Here I am,” but to write a novel, hold it up and say, “Here YOU are.