Whipped cream isn't whipped cream at all if it hasnt been whipped with whips, just like poached eggs isn't poached eggs unless it's been stolen in the dead of the night.

I never get any protests from children. All you get are giggles of mirth and squirms of delight. I know what children like.

The snozberries taste like snozberries!

Of course not. You can't have a family hanging over you like a bunch of old dead goats. No offense.

I am totally convinced that most grown-ups have completely forgotten what is it like to be a child between the ages of five and then... I can remember exactly what it was like. I am certain I can.

Unless you have been to boarding-school when you are very young, it is absolutely impossible to appreciate the delights of living at home.

If I were a headmaster, I would get rid of the history teacher and get a chocolate teacher instead and my pupils would study a subject that affected all of them.