You know, when you see a haircut of yourself from around 12 or 13, it's rough. I also had really bad acne. Where I had to take this medicine - serious medicine - with warning on the label, like, "Do NOT take this if you are pregnant." Thank God I wasn't pregnant at the time. But yeah, I just had bad haircuts, bad acne, and bad clothes for a long time. And probably still right now.

Paul McCartney chit-chats with you, he makes eye contact with you, he seems really interested in what you're saying. He really puts everyone else at ease and makes them feel good so they're not nervous, which I think is really cool.

I would host a show where I take famous people out into the woods every week to find Bigfoot. I would do that. And you know what? We would find him in like a week.

Most monuments are not something you're going to keep me out of. And I go to a lot of monuments.

I've seen Jaws [movie], like, 800 times. And I love it.

I read one time that I am permanently banned from Yankee Stadium and that I could never ever go back. This article mentioned, supposedly, that I did something in the early 2000s at Yankee Stadium, and I got arrested, and supposedly, allegedly, I went to jail for something that I did. I read that about myself one time and I thought that was pretty fascinating.

People always say, "When did you know you were funny?" They don't mean that in a bad way - this already makes me sound like such a jerk.