There are so many family dinners you can do. I eventually had to go to them and say, 'Look, I don't do spatula work. I don't do scenes with oven mitts. If you're looking for that, you've got the wrong guy. I'm not doing scenes about casseroles. It's not happening.

I'll be a role model on my terms, but don't make a role model on your terms.

Did you eat a lot of paint chips when you were a kid?

There are so many family dinners you can do. I eventually had to go to them and say, 'Look, I don't do spatula work. I don't do scenes with oven mitts. If you're looking for that, you've got the wrong guy. I'm not doing scenes about casseroles. It's not happening.

[Wayne's World and Tommy Boy] was all from hosting Saturday Night Live the first time [in 1990]. I just had such a great time, and I had such a simpatico relationship with Mike Myers. And Lorne [Michaels]. I'll always be grateful for Lorne, who saw me as funny.

I don't like any sport where you're already exhausted when you're done putting on the equipment.

Read between the lines, folks, 'cause I'm here to tell you you're not getting the straight story. Ever. You're getting variations of the truth, if you're lucky.