I spent a lot of my twenties wanting a maid, really. I thought I wanted a relationship, but I just wanted somebody to fix and nurse me, and I'd take her hostage for six months. When you're 23, 24, you want to be in a relationship because they look brilliant - you've heard all the songs about it and seen all the movies and it looks great.

I'm sure that when my daughter will bring home her first boyfriend I'll? be so intimidating that he'll run away, but embarrassing as well, just to have a bit of fun.

When I first met him [David Beckham] I didn't know whether to shake his hand or lick his face.

An awful lot of gay pop stars pretend to be straight. I'm going to start a movement of straight pop stars pretending to be gay.

Is there a tumor in your humor?

I enjoy nakedness. I am a bit of a naturist at heart.

I am the only man who can say he's been in Take That and at least two members of the Spice Girls.