Everything in excess! To enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites. Moderation is for monks.

I believe that almost all politicians are honest. For every bribed alderman there are hundreds of politicians, low paid or not paid at all, doing their level best without thanks or glory to make our system work. If this were not true, we would never have gotten past the thirteen colonies.

Never pick up a stray kitten . . . unless you've already made up your mind to be owned by it.

Whenever women have insisted on absolute equality with men, they have invariably wound up with the dirty end of the stick. What they are and what they can do makes them superior to men, and their proper tactic is to demand special privileges, all the traffic will bear. They should never settle merely for equality. For women, "equality" is a disaster.

ANYTHING will burn with enough gasoline and dynamite.

Never appeal to a man's 'better nature.' He may not have one. Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage.

And suddenly I knew I was people and could not stop laughing.