If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back to where he came from.

If you look at eggs, you will see that each one is almost round but not quite ... Nature's way of distinguishing eggs from large golf balls.

Next to an old-fashioned church social, or possibly a monster bridge party, there is no buzz which can equal the sibilant buzz ofa matinée.

A man may take care of a furnace for twenty-five years and still forget to duck his head when he starts going down the cellar stairs.

Streets full of water. Please Advise.

I have been told by hospital authorities that more copies of my works are left behind by departing patients than those of any other author.

One of the easiest forms of pretense to break down is the pretense of enthusiasm for exotic foods. Just bring on the exotic foods.