If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back to where he came from.

Streets flooded. Please advise.

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.

The problem of what to wear while lolling about the house on a Sunday afternoon is becoming more and more acute as the fashions in lolling garments change. The American home is in danger of taking on the appearance of an Oriental bordello.

I do most of my work sitting down; that's where I shine.

[Reviewing the New York City Telephone Directory] But it is the opinion of the present reviewer that the weakness of plot is due to the great number of characters which clutter up the pages. The Russian school is responsible for this.

All laughter is a muscular rigidity spasmodically relieved by involuntary twitching.