If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back to where he came from.

You might think that after thousands of years of coming up too soon and getting frozen, the crocus family would have had a little sense knocked into it.

It was one of those plays in which all of the actors unfortunately enunciated very clearly.

Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, owing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about.

There is a note in the front of the volume saying that no public reading may be given without first getting the author's permission. It ought to be made much more difficult to do than that.

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony.