Traveling with children corresponds roughly to traveling third class in Bulgaria.

I have been told by hospital authorities that more copies of my works are left behind by departing patients than those of any other author.

My first big mistake was made when, in a moment of weakness, I consented to learn the game; for a man who can frankly say "I do not play bridge" is allowed to go over in the corner and run the pianola by himself, while the poor neophyte, no matter how much he may protest that he isn't "at all a good player, in fact I'm perfectly rotten," is never believed, but dragged into a game where it is discovered, too late, that he spoke the truth.

The naturalistic literature of this country has reached such a state that no family of characters is considered true to life whichdoes not include at least two hypochondriacs, one sadist, and one old man who spills food down the front of his vest.

Breaking the ice in the pitcher seems to be a feature of the early lives of all great men.

The Great Arizona Desert is full of the bleaching bones of people who waited for me to start something.

A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death.