Breaking the ice in the pitcher seems to be a feature of the early lives of all great men.

There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them.

I once heard of a murderer who propped his two victims up against a chess board in sporting attitudes and was able to get as far as Seattle before his crime was discovered.

The ideal age for a boy to own a dog is between forty-five and fifty.

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.

The discovery of phobias by psychiatrists has done much to clear the atmosphere. Whereas in the old days a person would say: 'Let's get the heck out of here!' today she says: 'Let's get the heck out of here! I've got claustrophobia.

The only cure for a real hangover is death.