Charlemagne either died or was born or did something with the Holy Roman Empire in 800.

The naturalistic literature of this country has reached such a state that no family of characters is considered true to life whichdoes not include at least two hypochondriacs, one sadist, and one old man who spills food down the front of his vest.

In a house where there are small children the bathroom soon takes on the appearance of the Old Curiosity Shop.

My first big mistake was made when, in a moment of weakness, I consented to learn the game; for a man who can frankly say "I do not play bridge" is allowed to go over in the corner and run the pianola by himself, while the poor neophyte, no matter how much he may protest that he isn't "at all a good player, in fact I'm perfectly rotten," is never believed, but dragged into a game where it is discovered, too late, that he spoke the truth.

Work is a form of nervousness.

You won't find one fish in a million that has enough sense to come in when it rains.

Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a bit unchivalrous.