Ever wonder where you'd end up if you took your dog for a walk and never once pulled back on the leash?

I am told to just be myself, but as much as I have practiced the impression, I am still no good at it.

A dog is much like a married man, obeying his master's voice for the sake of his master's touch.

My eyesight's gone, my reflexes are shot, and I can't stay awake, but thank God I can still drive.

I don't lie and cheat, but I don't always avoid actions that would be lying and cheating if someone else did them.

Opportunity is a parade. Even as one chance passes, the next is a fife and drum echoing in the distance.

Eventually the person who tries to fix the problem will be blamed for causing it.