What you discover about people you try not to offend is that you can offend them without trying.

A holiday cocktail party is where some stranger will learn more about you in an hour than your spouse has learned in a lifetime.

Sometimes I think my life would make a great TV movie. It even has the part where they say, "Stand by. We are experiencing temporary difficulties.

Be it human or animal, touch is a life-giving thing. Has anyone ever had a stroke or a heart attack while cozied up with a pet? I doubt it.

There is a public me and a private me, who, if they were separate people, probably wouldn't exchange Christmas cards.

It is hard to resist a flatterer who gets it right.

The first step toward telling the truth is to tell the whole lie.