What you discover about people you try not to offend is that you can offend them without trying.

Every day ask yourself, "What would I do today if I were a better person?

Do I rue a life wasted doing crosswords? Yes, but I do know the three-letter-word for regret.

The only creature on earth whose natural habitat is a zoo is the zookeeper.

In the end, who among us does not choose to be a little less right to be a little less lonely.

I identify more with people who ask each day for divine guidance than people equipped with a divine guidance system.

There is a time early in life when there seem to be countless reasons for happiness, and then you discover your mom is making them up.