Life is too short to hold a grudge, also too long.

As important in a trusting relationship as the truths you share are the lies you never have to tell.

A vacation trip is one-third pleasure, fondly remembered, and two-thirds aggravation, entirely forgotten.

What if man were required to educate his children without the help of talking animals.

My eyesight's gone, my reflexes are shot, and I can't stay awake, but thank God I can still drive.

How do you achieve success? Well, for one thing, you don't define it before you achieve it.

A cat, after being scolded, goes about its business. A dog slinks off into a corner and pretends to be doing a serious self-reappraisal.