Nowadays you envy a manic-depressive. Half the time he's happy, the other half he's right.

Someday a computer will give a wrong answer to spare someone's feelings, and man will have invented artificial intelligence.

The little money I have - that is my wealth, but the things I have for which I would not take money, that is my treasure.

You never have a friend all figured out. Just when you think you know what makes them tick, they tock.

The trouble with having a body is that people know it's where you hang out and you don't get any privacy.

Life is a process by which a few desperate longings morph into a thousand meaningless wants.

To help someone in need is not charity it is proper etiquette.