Optimist: Someone who figures that taking a step backwards after taking a step forwards is not a disaster. It's a cha-cha.

I tell my child, if I seem obsessed to always know where you've been, it is because my DNA will be found at the scene.

If God had intended us to be alone, there would be more pleasure in massaging our own shoulders.

The advantage of growing up with siblings is that you become very good at fractions.

Eventually, time takes care of everything. The trouble with procrastination is that people give up on it too soon.

The trick to liking who you are is not to hate too much the person it turned out you weren't.

If God had intended me to make excuses for who I am, He would have given me better excuses.