A paranoid thinks that sinister forces are out to get him, not realizing that they are out to get everybody.

As a gardener, I'm among those who believe that much of the evidence of God's existence has been planted.

There is a public me and a private me, who, if they were separate people, probably wouldn't exchange Christmas cards.

It’s hard to make up your bed while you’re still sleeping in it. Hard to make up your mind for the same reason.

I've lived enough of my life story to know this- Fate writes the book, but you make the movie.

Who does not wish to be beautiful, and clever, and rich, and to have back, in old age, the time spent trying to be any of them.

My eyesight's gone, my reflexes are shot, and I can't stay awake, but thank God I can still drive.