History is man's best guess as to what the past would look like if everything had happened in chronological order.

Everything happens for the purpose of what you decide to do about it.

Life is a series of family photos in which eventually you stop showing up.

Sometimes I think my life would make a great TV movie. It even has the part where they say, "Stand by. We are experiencing temporary difficulties.

Eventually, time takes care of everything. The trouble with procrastination is that people give up on it too soon.

Ah, yes, my social life — a series of encounters where we briefly debate who is in the greater rush.

Most often the person you would die for would settle for dinner and a movie.