Do I want to be a hero to my son? No. I would like to be a very real human being. That's hard enough.

I am in the continual process of transcending fear-based rituals

Worrying is like praying for something you don't want to happen.

I really don't want to thank my wife because I could be bussing tables at the Daily Grill right now if not for her. Jesus, what a gig that'd be.

It's hard to get out of the barrel. It's slippery around the edges and people are happy to see you fall back in.

I'm not 40 yet. I wouldn't even bother comparing myself to Chaplin.

Listen, smile, agree, then do whatever you were going to do anyway.