Not since Jimmy Carr have I seen a cold computer programme on stage generate so much laughter.

Not since Jimmy Carr have I seen a cold computer programme on stage generate so much laughter.

They gave 12 monkeys a typewriter for a week, and after a week, they only used it as a bathroom.

We very quickly forget about the wonderful things we've got. People lose their excitement because there's too much. Basically we're experiencing nothing, because everything is available to us.

Homeopaths do not have a physical brain, but merely 'skull water' with the memory of brains.

I thought I better warn you that I am not one of those politically correct comedians, but it turns out that also I'm not really that racist, homophobic or woman hating either, so you might not notice

I have a very vibrant imposter syndrome that goes on throughout most of my life, but nothing more than when someone has to put a hat on me or some kind of sash and go, 'We're giving you this certificate.'