You went to Woodstock and all that trash, your generation is fading fast.

You got amphetamine eyes.

Won't someone please answer my prayers before I'm old and gray. I've been lonely too long and all my family thinks I'm gay.

How can my son not be straight after all I've said and done for him?

Like with every form of cancer, early detection is what it is all about. I urge everyone to learn the facts about this condition. It can be prevented with testing, and it can be beaten if caught early!

One neutron bomb in the morning may just ruin your whole morning.

I've tried to have a regular haircut, but it just pops back up again, so this is the way it's going to be.