Should I string her up or strangle her in bed, suffocate that venomous head? Or perhaps I'll just whip her to death. Listen, do me a favor, kill my wife.

All you did was wreck my bed and in the morning kick me in the head.

I've never been more in love with anyone nearly half my age than I am today. I'd get married in a minute if I weren't still married to somebody else.

We all need a laugh and I guess you're just the one.

Well, there's not a day goes by when I don't get up and say thank you to somebody.

My big brother still thinks he's a better singer than me.

I've still got a brilliant head of hair, which refuses to lay down.