My dad bought me a guitar and people would ask me to play.

My big brother still thinks he's a better singer than me.

Won't someone please answer my prayers before I'm old and gray. I've been lonely too long and all my family thinks I'm gay.

I am always crazy for hot women. I am like a rabbit. I could do it anytime, anywhere.

Love is just a hole in the wall.

I see myself at 7:30 in the morning and it's not too pretty.

At my age you don't go into fatherhood lightly.