I didn't plan on being a comedian. I didn't plan on getting married and I didn't plan on having kids, but I did all those things.

I can drink on the job if I want to. I can go on stage with a beer and it's OK. I can say whatever I want. It's a great job to have.

Kids today know way more than you think they do, with the Internet and 500 TV channels.

When I was little, there were three channels.

I thought comedy would be the hardest thing I could do, and if I could do that, I could do anything.

I didn't plan on being a comedian. I didn't plan on getting married and I didn't plan on having kids, but I did all those things.

You can talk about anything if you go about it the right way, which is never malicious.