I didn't plan on being a comedian. I didn't plan on getting married and I didn't plan on having kids, but I did all those things.

When I was little, there were three channels.

If I do the same act that I did in 1995, in essence you're saying (in a robotic voice), 'My mind has never changed'

I can drink on the job if I want to. I can go on stage with a beer and it's OK. I can say whatever I want. It's a great job to have.

I didn't plan on being a comedian. I didn't plan on getting married and I didn't plan on having kids, but I did all those things.

Kids today know way more than you think they do, with the Internet and 500 TV channels.

You can talk about anything if you go about it the right way, which is never malicious.