People may say that what I do is very clever, but it's not really at all. It's not Swift.

William Hague, the world's favourite hairline.

I am just fascinated by this reassurance from a menacing figure. It is rather frightening.

I've no idea what they make of me. People usually don't recognise themselves in an impression.

But let's be clear. We're talking about a country where there's no opposition. As leader he can ignore Parliament and - sorry that's Tony Blair isn't it? Um, so he doesn't even have to ask the country before he goes to war - sorry that's still Tony Blair.

Now I'm instantly nervous about the demands of doing a weekly column.

People may say that what I do is very clever, but it's not really at all. It's not Swift.