As Prime Minister of Israel, I will introduce a bill into the Knesset that will simply pay the Arabs not to shoot at the Jews.

I am a woman, therefore I am a problem solver.

Somewhere within the concept of justice, the worst of the guilty must always be removed. I cannot divorce this, not completely. The people must have justice and so I want to reinstate and enshrine the blessed and holy guillotine!

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.

I first would allow the guilty bankers to pay, you know, the ability to pay back anything over $100 million [of] personal wealth because I believe in a maximum wage of $100 million. And if they are unable to live on that amount of that amount then they should, you know, go to the reeducation camps and if that doesn't help, then being beheaded.

I always was a writer, but then I wanted to do stand-up because I thought that was a way that I could perform what I wrote.

I'm just into spirituality. I believe that in a previous life I used to be Shirley MacLaine.