As Prime Minister of Israel, I will introduce a bill into the Knesset that will simply pay the Arabs not to shoot at the Jews.

The only options open for girls then were of course mother, secretary or teacher. At least that's what we all thought and were preparing ourselves for. Now, I must say how lucky we are, as women, to live in an age where 'Dental Hygienist' has been added to the list.

Birth control that really works - every night before we go to bed we spend an hour with our kids.

Here is my personal opinion about prostitution. If men knew how to do it, they wouldn't have to pay for it.

To say that I have an undisciplined mind would not be incorrect overall, but it's a little off the mark because I have great discipline when I write - but only for about ten minutes.

Nobody wanted the "Roseanne" show. I heard from agents that there was no interest in a show about a fat woman and her family.

I signed a deal with Satan because I wanted to get famous. Then I forgot I had a deal with Satan and then I got really famous.