I avoided reality for most of my life. But once you deal with it, it's kind of cool.

It's the Night of the Living Dead. It's scary out here.

Sometimes for me not throwing a tantrum is what running a marathon or swimming the English Channel must be like for others of a less-challenging emotional nature.

I have more money than God, but not as much as Oprah.

Laugh every day as much as you can.

I actually get more conservative when I'm in Vegas.

I'm not upset about my divorce. I'm only upset that I'm not a widow.