Focus, Amy. Just because he looked great in the saddle did not mean he wasn't an axe murderer.

That was easy for him to say when his cell phone was rounding third base. If anyone got a home run tonight, I didn't want it to be Verizon Wireless.

She was the only creature in the world who would really care if something happened to me, even if it was only because I was the bringer of kibble.

I was the designated grown up in a family that operated in different reality than the rest of the world.

My major vice is sarcasm with a side of caffeine addiction.

I was generally pro-bat, except when I was trekking through the dark trying not to think about the dire fate of every horror movie character stupid enough to go into the dark with a flashlight and check the fuses.

When your family is twice as weird as normal, you have to be twice as polite to authority, because authority hates weird.