When someone comments on my weight, I have to work hard to stand in front of the mirror and say, "This is who you are. You're okay in this lady, and you're a great, healthy, lovable and loving person." I try to accept myself.

Every kid should sit in the velvet at least once in their lifetime.

I don't like to go to premieres or openings. I don't like to have to put on makeup.

I think there's no way they should have to teach [math] now. We have computers. We no longer need to know why 3x = 2y/4.

I'm sure I will cause tremendous seismic shifts in the culture again.

I've been on every diet in the world. I've been on Slim-Fast. For breakfast you have a shake. For lunch, you have a shake. For dinner, you kill anyone with food on their plate.

My life goal is not to ruin anyone's existence. I'm a comic.