My life goal is not to ruin anyone's existence. I'm a comic.

As a result of the [9/11] attack and the killing of nearly 3,000 innocent people, we invaded two countries and killed innocent people in their countries Radical Christianity is just as threatening as radical Islam in a country like America.

To give them what I never had heals me. Some days I look at them and almost start to cry. I think, How can I love them more than I did the day before? But it keeps growing.

It's hard to find a reason that is not environmentally centered, that [doesn't have] something to do with global warming or what the planet is going through. The amount of tornadoesit's like three times the highest amount ever before, right? Something weird is happening with all of these natural catastrophes.

I do believe it is the first time in history that fire has ever melted steel. I do believe that it defies physics for the World Trade Center Tower Seven, building seven, which collapsed in on itself.

You should be able to tell your child, "This is an actor. And she's older than Mommy!"

And it never, ever was interpreted that the Second Amendment meant individual's right to bear arms