Going to Vanderbilt did a lot of things for me, and one of the things it cured me of was the need to follow college football.

It was easy to make fun of Bush, but it was sort of like shooting fish in a barrel and it didn't really feel all that good because it was so easy to do. I would much rather live under a thoughtful president. Even if it makes it harder to be funny about politics, it makes it more interesting to be funny about politics.

I do some eccentric dancing.

According to scholars of linguistics, the relation between a word and its meaning is arbitrary.

I do not Twitter. I don't want to Twitter, and I don't see any point in Twittering. The last thing I want to do is tell people what I'm doing at the moment because I'm probably not doing what I'm supposed to be doing.

An author is a person who can never take innocent pleasure in visiting a bookstore again.

Ham's substantial, ham is fat. Ham is firm and sound. Ham's what God was getting at When He made pigs so round.