The last time somebody said, 'I find I can write much better with a word processor', I replied, 'They used to say the same thing about drugs'.

I prefer my oysters fried; that way I know my oysters died.

I do some eccentric dancing.

Studying literature at Harvard is like learning about women at the Mayo Clinic.

Think about scary movies: There's a fine line between horror and humor.

Any given generation gives the next generation advice that the given generation should have been given by the previous generation but now it's too late.

The first time I walked into a library, I got so excited I almost wet my pants.