The last time somebody said, 'I find I can write much better with a word processor', I replied, 'They used to say the same thing about drugs'.

The first time I walked into a library, I got so excited I almost wet my pants.

I do not Twitter. I don't want to Twitter, and I don't see any point in Twittering. The last thing I want to do is tell people what I'm doing at the moment because I'm probably not doing what I'm supposed to be doing.

When I weed, I like to get off into my own head. For one thing, my wife plants and I have trouble telling which plants are weeds and which are my favorite plants. So I tend to hop around and grab the weeds that I know are weeds. So I don't weed all that linearly. I tend to weed haphazardly.

I've never thought it was necessary to make fun of people - you can find fun in people without necessarily mocking them.

Pete Rose is too rich a character to fit on a bronze plaque. He requires a good, trenchant, poignant (ah, Petey) book, and this is it.

The North isn't a place. It's just a direction out of the South.