A group of politicians deciding to dump a President because his morals are bad is like the Mafia getting together to bump off the Godfather for not going to church on Sunday.

I am sitting here 93 million miles from the sun on a rounded rock which is spinning at the rate of 1000 miles an hour... and my head pointing down into space with nothing between me and infinity but something called gravity which I can't even understand, and which you can't even buy any place so as to have some stored away for a gravityless day.

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say that what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down.

Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.

A solved problem creates two new problems, and the best prescription for happy living is not to solve any more problems.

Goat cheese... produced a bizarre eating era when sensible people insisted that this miserable cheese produced by these miserable creatures reared on miserable hardscrabble earth was actually superior to the magnificent creamy cheeses of the noblest dairy animals bred in the richest green valleys of the earth.

Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories: those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.