Skins tanned to the consistency of well-traveled alligator suitcases.

Skinny women don't enjoy being told they're skinny nowadays. They enjoy telling you how they got that way, as though starvation were an achievement.

Of all the people expressing their mental vacuity, none has a better excuse for an empty head than the newspaperman: If he pauses to restock his brain, he invites onrushing deadlines to trample him flat. Broadcasting the contents of empty minds is what most of us do most of the time, and nobody more relentlessly than I.

Usually, terrible things that are done with the excuse that progress requires them are not really progress at all, but just terrible things.

Except for politics, no business is scrutinized more exhaustively than journalism.

There are no liberals behind steering wheels.

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say that what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down.