In an age when the fashion is to be in love with yourself, confessing to be in love with somebody else is an admission of unfaithfulness to one's beloved.

The people who say: 'You are what you eat' have always seemed addled to me. In my opinion, you are what you think, and if you don't think, you can eat all the meat in Kansas City and still be nothing but a vegetable.

The American press has the blues. Too many authorities have assured it that its days are numbered, too many good newspapers are in ruins.

The French fried potato has become an inescapable horror in almost every public eating place in the country. 'French fries', say the menus, but they are not French fries any longer. They are a furry-textured substance with the taste of plastic wood.

Etiquette is the grease that makes it possible for all of us to rub together without unnecessary overheating.

People who say you're just as old as you feel are all wrong, fortunately.

In America, it is sport that is the opiate of the masses.