Say I feel all sad and self-indulgent, then get stung by a wasp, my misery feels quite abstract and I long just to be in spiritual pain once more - 'damn you tiny assassin, clad in yellow and black, how I crave my former innocence where melancholy was my only trial'.

It would have been convenient to be gay. Just because of the grooming, the narcissism, stuff like that. But I have this kind of roaring heterosexuality. Traditional, uncomplicated heterosexuality, an almost cliched Robin Askwith thing.

People have always said, are you gay? I've had a lot of that. But it's just not in me. I really like women a lot; I'm repulsed by men sexually.

On respect for the Queen: When I lick a stamp I always do it with my eyes closed.

There was [really] little difference between someone acting throwing french fries in your face and someone throwing french fries in your face.

There's an interconnectivity between what's in the consciousness of cat and what's in the consciousness of us.

People don't throw your bags out of windows because of lies; they throw them out because of the truth.