I finally had my prostate checked. And I was super-thankful that I taught my asshole to whistle before the doctor stuck his finger in there. The look on his face was priceless.

It's a lot of working out, you know, and you don't get to eat all the things you wanna eat.

If it weren’t so off-putting for my co-workers. I’d wear my flannel, one-piece 'Hannah Montana' pajamas, like, all the time!

The ‘friend zone’ is like the penalty box of dating, only you can never get out. Once a girl decides you’re her ‘friend,’ it’s game over. You’ve become a complete non-sexual entity in her eyes, like her brother, or a lamp.

I think everybody involved in a movie thinks about the box office. It's the 'biz' part of showbiz.

I'm not one of those actors who romanticizes his trials working out and brags that he can bench press a panda now.

I dragged my wife from our honeymoon in Africa and landed her in Ontario, Canada, when it was -40 degrees.