Only the scenario writers are exempt. These are tied between the tails of two spirited Caucasian ponies, which are then driven off in opposite directions. This custom is called a conference.

Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin - it's the triumphant twang of a bedspring.

The main obligation is to amuse yourself.

Fate was dealing from the bottom of the deck.

This medal (the National Book Award) together with my American Express card, will identify me worldwide ... except at Bloomingdale's.

One stifling summer afternoon last August, in the attic of a tiny stone house in Pennsylvania, I made a most interesting discovery: the shortest, cheapest method of inducing a nervous breakdown ever perfected. In this technique..., the subject is placed in a sharply sloping attic heated to 340 F and given a mothproof closet known as the Jiffy-Cloz to assemble.

He bit his lip in a manner which immediately awakened my maternal sympathy, and I helped him bite it.